We've been very "grrrr-uuuhhhh-aaaahh-ddduuuuuuh" today. Both of us. We just simply couldn't find our way to express, to capture, to connect, to be in harmony with ourselves. Struggling. Frustrated. Keen on getting over this fuss. Went to mass, and the situation seemed under control for a little while.
Then. While drinking our tea we stated:
- We should get drunk. Just a little. Would help.
- Let's get a bottle.
- Fine.
On the bus, on our way home I lost the track again. Couldn't focus. Could not tell anything. At least anything normal or different. (God gracious, how pathetic I am.)
Changed buses, get off at the supermarket. Stated I don't really have money now. Problem solved and now I have debt.
Then. We got home and had a sandwich. (With ham and cheese. I don't even remember the time I last had ham on my sandwich.) Finally, and the first time ever since we have them, took the tiny glasses and poured ourselves a drink.
- Cheers! To us.
We Drank.
Then. Laughed and made coffee.
Then. I don't even know how, even when I saw it with my own two eyes, there was coffee and tonic all over the kitchen.
We laughed.
- At least we had the adventure of it. This is how home alcoholism begins.
We laughed while cleaning up the mess.
But still felt pathetic.
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