I figured out it is really hard to hope sometimes. Even when I think that's something essential to my Christian being. I do believe in God who works in mysterious ways. Who can't be seen as a human only in his wonderful works. I do believe faith and prayer are one of the most powerful arms we have. And I've been praying for a long long time. Praying for something I lost my hope in. How could have that happened I don't know. And of course it didn't work. My prayers seemed unheard, my mood went down the slope, my prayer life was empty. Although I set down each morning and each night my words were like a "tinkling cymbal". Than a wonderful soul, a friend of my cried out indignantly: "You don't even believe in it!"
God works in mysterious ways. And through this friend He gave me hope. To be not afraid of believing.
On the other hand, I can pray and plead as much as I can, if I'm asking for something that is not beneficial at all, I won't get it. If it is something not intended to me, and God knows best what is intended and what is needed in my life, I won't get it.
So, the only way out from this is to believe in God; in the mercyful, loving God who cares about all his creations, but most of all about men. He knows best. Believe, my soul, for God is your only hope.
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