So I moved in with my host family just two months ago. And it's going really fine.
I
arrived on Friday - and slept through the day. Next day Jose Luis took
me down to the beach to have a bocadillo with his card-party while
waiting for my mentor, Fina. Than we went off to an other colleague's
house, who the next Monday accompanied me to Madrid for the meeting of
all the assistants residing in Spain. Saturday night we went to a
concert where a family member played the clarinet, and the next day, on
Sunday Jose Luis took me to the nearest church for mass on a
motorbike. It was a really fun weekend and I guess the first days
decided on the upcoming ones. The family is really nice, and seriously I
mean it. They take me around to family events, they are ready
to help me with anything I need, even a friend could slept over when
visiting. I could not ask for a better host family. Moreover, Lola is a
hairdresser and their house is literally right off from the beach. It's
like wow! Wow wow!
The only thing I really mind is that I
don't have natural light in my room. What is obvious, by the way. It's a
Mediterranean country, during the summer the sun is awful down here so
they are trying to do their best to limit the heat. I our case, it's
done by a central patio, and by having all the windows looking to this
patio. And having terraces. So pretty much no room has a view to the
street...Understandable. So the real thing I mind is the dripping
water.
I have a nice little room with everything I
need just right under the bathroom on the first floor. And yes, there is
almost constant dripping of water in the tubes or whatevers. I hear
every flushing of the toilet really loud, and every showing lasts at
least two hours, even if it's only 20 minutes for real because the water
has to drip down or I don't know. It just drives me crazy.
First
I thought it is something I can't change anyway so let's embrace it.
Don't care about it, don't listen to it, ignore it. It's going to be
there. And at first I could do that and actually fall asleep. Than the
time has come when I got frustrated and no longer could do that. So I
bought earplugs. From the earplugs I got a pain in my ears, and they
didn't really worked out. So now I'm really considering to move out from
my nice family living on the beach, having 2 hot meals a day, with low
rent, unlimited wifi, and learning Spanish for free...
The
truth is, the dripping water is just a detail. I still move around the
house like a ghost, I'm trying to avoid
having breakfast with Jose Luis, who in the meanwhile became the
headmaster of my school (!!!). Whenever I'm having a snack a feel like a
thief even if I paid the rent and I'm afraid someone's gonna catch me.
Or when I'm watching the TV I feel like I have to switch it off when I
hear that someone just came home. Or when I'm spending hours watching
series on my computer I don't know what the hell they are thinking of
me. And I broke a mug. I just broke a f***** mug in the kitchen. You
know the feeling, when someone is so nice to you all the time and when
you do something wrong accidentally and you know they won't care about
it, it just eats you up? And I feel obliged to cook dinner next week
every night when Lola is going to be working in Alicante. But I don't
want to do that and it makes me angry.
The truth is I'm not happy.
Am I supposed to be happy just because the circumstances are perfect?
If
I can't be happy with the "great things" - e.g. getting married and
having a family - I just want the details to be perfect. And with the
dripping water and the broken mug they are not.
I feel
absolutely grateful to these people who sheltered me, but it just
doesn't feel right to live like I'm on a vacation at my grandma's.
I
don't have a grandma.
